I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
