i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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