dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I smell like Dick and happiness
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
