I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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