At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
