hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
last night I used snow as a chaser
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