First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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