I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
