just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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