College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize