the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
These tits shall not be calmed
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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