Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I had to cum in my sink.
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