Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dicks are not precious.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
