Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
