Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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