Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
