community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
