went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
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