Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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