pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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