oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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