Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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