She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
