Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
