12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
