Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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