I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
