Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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