margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
