Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
is it fun? or sober?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize