Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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