when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I didnāt eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesnāt scream Iām from New England, I donāt know what does
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
