I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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