I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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