Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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