I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
