They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
