I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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