I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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