My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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