just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
