Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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