I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
