Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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