somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I need water and some morals
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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