Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
