dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
