can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
