seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize