508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
