Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
