I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize