I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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