Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
you never un-have a 4some
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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