So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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