youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
