Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So vagazzling was a success
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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