I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
