Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I have so many feelings about this burrito
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
